“It’s simple, people—Birds of a feather molest together.”
"The climate is doing literally everything it can to get our attention. The climate is acting like a housewife in lingerie, standing in front of the TV and we're all just going, 'Honey, move, I can't see what "The Mentalist" is doing.'"
"You might as well ask the gun lobby to check for a hernia as long as they've got your balls in their hands."
"I can't imagine that a leader of the Senate majority would admit to being a puppet of the NRA in a televised interview. Yet here you are with crazy Wayne [LaPierre's] fist so far up your party's ass he can throw his talking points out your mouths."
"I actually think the Republicans in Congress might act like d—ks just to see what lame s—t Democrats will pull to get back at them."
“I don’t mean to sound sexist, but I think men are just too emotional to be president.”