"It takes a special kind of guy to look at how far our nation has come and say, 'You know what we need to get back to? 1968! That was a great year in American politics!'"
"We are currently living in a dystopian nightmare...Trump talked about America like he was pitching a post-apocalyptic show to the Syfy network."
"The Republicans appear to have a very clear plan for America. One: Jail your political opponent. Two: Inject Rudy Giuliani with a speedball-and-Red Bull enema. And three: Spend the rest of the time scaring the holy bejesus out of everybody."
Yes, that’s a repurposed Herman Cain 2012 bus.
"People keep coming up to me and saying, 'Thank God you're here!' And they keep on saying, 'You're one of the good ones, you're articulate, you're bright!'"
“Black kids grow up to be criminals, yeah, because their moms are never home. Probably down at the club — or because they have to work two jobs and public transportation doesn’t go to their neighborhood and the legacy of redlining has kept them from living in better areas — but also, at the club!”
"North Carolina has staged themselves strategically next to the bathrooms, so they can check everyone's genitalia before they—you know—cast their ballots, shall we say?"