"Turns out the Democrats had this in them all along, and all it took for them to get their shit together was the looming certainty of armageddon."
"Next thing you know, she's gonna start giving her speeches from behind a desk."
"Remember when acting crazy on TV was a liability, instead of, you know, a platform?"
"The lawyers have spoken. I cannot reasonably argue that I own my face or name."
“Just like that, Bernie’s 2016 run was over… There were so many white women crying, I thought Pinterest had died.”
"You know how you have that crazy uncle you only see at Thanksgiving? Well this country is about 48 percent crazy uncles, and it's about to be Thanksgiving all day, everyday."
"The party of the donkey is about to get funky."