Saturday, September 22, 2018

Last Week Tonight

John Oliver roasts Trump over insufficient opioid policy

“So Trump’s fix for our opioid epidemic essentially boils down to: Here’s two pennies, go throw them in a f—king mall fountain and wish your addiction away.”

John Oliver fumes over Equifax breach, offers advice on protecting your identity

"They make most of their money selling our data to businesses, like banks. So in their eyes, we're not the consumer, we're the product."

John Oliver slams Academy for keeping Polanski, Cosby, Gibson, while expelling Weinstein

"So congratulations, Hollywood! See you at the next Oscars where—and this is true—Casey Affleck will be presenting Best Actress.”

John Oliver is first late night host to attack Harvey Weinstein

“Yeah, you’re right: your excuse isn’t an excuse!"

John Oliver offers Stephen Colbert as replacement for Confederate statues

"Monuments are not how we record history...Statues are how we glorify people."

John Oliver skewers Trump over ‘horribly racist’ Puerto Rico attacks

"You have got to hand it to Trump: anybody can say horribly racist things about Hispanic people on a golden escalator, but it takes real balls to do it while their fellow citizens are dying.”

John Oliver and Weird Al send musical message to North Korea

"Let's just engage in some truly magical thinking: What if you could somehow just take out Kim Jong Un? Well, you've probably got an immediate humanitarian crisis on your hands, as well as a leaderless country with a power vacuum and nuclear weapons. And as we've learned from Iraq and Afghanistan, when regimes fall and there is no plan in place, that vacuum can be filled with terrible things. We do not want to find out what North Korea's ISIS would be."

John Oliver reacts to Trump’s ‘barrage of bulls*t’ tweets distracting from the travel ban

“President Trump: The 'Bachelor in Paradise' of American presidents."

John Oliver rips apart absurd anti-vaccine arguments

I didn’t get polio again today! Anyone else not get polio today? What a time to be alive.

John Oliver blasts the president: ‘Trump needs to stop lying to coal miners!’

"Stop telling them that their jobs are all coming back when they’re not, stop telling them that coal is clean when it isn’t, and stop pretending that this isn’t an industry in the middle of a painful—albeit necessary—transition."

John Oliver calls Trump a ‘walking logical paradox’ over his response to Comey

"I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he just starts tweeting things like, ‘I just traveled back in time and killed myself. VERY UNFAIR!’”

Must Read

Colbert, Meyers, Noah mock Trump for claiming he would run in to face shooter

“O.K. There’s a lot in there that I doubt, but the part I really don’t believe is that he can run."

Colbert, Noah, Kimmel slam conservatives for attacking Parkland shooting survivors

"Do you really think these kids, these teenagers who spoke out after a shooting at their school are actors who are part of some kind of deep state, left wing conspiracy? If the answer is, "Yes, I do believe that," I have some bad news for you. You're crazy. You are a crazy person. Your brain is not functioning, and I’m worried about you.” - Jimmy Kimmel

Parkland students school Jordan Klepper on the “right time” to talk about gun reform

“We’re trying to decrease the magic of being bought out by interest groups. We’re trying to make that the badge of shame. Ultimately the NRA is what is letting these things happen. They are funding these politicians; they are giving them millions and millions of dollars and we want that to be known."

Late night hosts return to discuss Parkland shooting, applaud students for fighting gun lobby

“I hope these kids don’t give up, because this is their lives and their future. Someone else may be in power, but this country belongs to them."