On Monday morning, a Bangladeshi man who swore fealty to ISIS attempted to bomb a New York City subway station, but the bomb failed and only injured the terrorist.
“Scary morning in New York City; a man set off an improvised bomb near the Port Authority,” he began.
“The suspect…lives in Brooklyn, so he used only locally sourced handmade artisanal bomb parts. But I’ve got something to say to this guy:
“Seriously? You tried to terrorize New York subway commuters? Nice try!”
“New York commuters don’t even flinch when the subway break dancers kick two inches away from their faces. They have to battle rats for the seats – which, for the record, you should only give up if the rat is pregnant,” Colbert joked.