Michael Che fires off on ‘snowflake’ gun owners after Las Vegas massacre

las vegas michael che colin jost snl

Michael Che and Colin Jost have been on a role lately. Last week the Weekend Update co-hosts tore into Donald Trump over his comments about Puerto Rico’s leadership after Hurricane Maria. This week, brought their frustration to the gun control debate.

On this week’s Saturday Night Live, Che and Jost took aim at gun nuts and the NRA after a lone gunman who owned 47 guns mowed down hundreds of people at a Jason Aldean concert in Las Vegas last Sunday, killing 58.

“The investigation into the tragedy in Las Vegas this week has sparked a larger debate in America between people who want common sense gun control and people who are wrong,” Jost began. “This shouldn’t be a partisan issue. The guy had 47 guns. No one should own 47 of anything. If you own 47 cats, you are not a responsible pet owner, you’re a crazy cat lady.”

Che took over to ask, “Why is it so hard to get gun control in this country? I mean, who are these delicate snowflakes that we can’t just tell them, ‘No, you are not allowed to have 40 guns anymore, Earl. From now on you can have one gun, max, and six bullets. If you can’t hit what you’re shooting with six bullets then you don’t need to be shooting at it. Learn karate or use your words!’”

As Che pointed out, 3 percent of Americans own half of all the guns in the country. “That’s the problem, that whiny three percent that needs to feel secure all the time.”

He the proposed a program to buy back the guns. “For every gun you trade in, we give you one half inch of penis enlargement,” he explained. “That’s fair. If you trade in ten guns, you get five more inches. And if women want to trade in their guns, don’t. Keep your guns. You’re probably going to need them to fight off all those men in spandex fighting to show off their brand-new eight-inch penises.”

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Caleb is a writer, scholar of satire, and creator of The Lanx. He earned a B.A. in English from UC Berkeley, and M.A. in Literature from Queen Mary University of London, where he focused on satire, satirical propaganda, rhetoric of satire, political cartoons and caricature.

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