More than 70 years after the third one bombed and went down in flames, a Fourth Reich is in production. As the unimaginative sequel gains some traction, rivals have become increasingly motivated to keep the weak adaptation from seeing the light of day.
The low-budget production is the result of a grassroots campaign launched by fans of the original. “This is definitely an homage,” said lead actor Christopher Cantwell, “but we’re really trying to keep the spirit of the original firmly in place as we create our own version.”
If it seems like this is further proof that nothing is new anymore, “That’s the point,” said major backer Robert Ray. “We want nothing new, or interesting, or different. In fact, we’re trying to make something so antiquated, only grandparents will remember the unexplainable feeling they had when they first saw it.”
While a few diehards are already lining up in the streets for the premier, the nation overall has little interest in the return of the Reich franchise. “It was just so bad. I can honestly say there was not one good thing about the original. But you know what they say: Those who forget historically bad stories are doomed to remake them,” remarked film critic Terry Heisenberg. “Plus, somebody should warn these guys the Jews run this shit now.”