A survey of American moms has revealed nine out of ten agree: General Kelly is a good babysitter.
“I would trust him with my children,” mother of two, Tina, from Toledo, OH, remarked, saying she feels General Kelly “provides structure. When children—er, Presidents—act out, it’s usually because they’re testing boundaries. It’s obvious Kelly sets boundaries.”
Not all agree, however. Sylvia, a mom from Mesa, AZ, thinks Kelly might be too tough. “He’s a military guy. I bet he says ‘no’ a lot. Hearing ‘no’ all the time can be detrimental to a sensitive self-esteem.”
“That bitch needs to hear ‘no.’” Gloria, of Carlsbad, CA, and tired mother of three teenagers, thinks Kelly is “perfect” for Trump. She does have one critique, “He needs to take away Trump’s phone privileges. Whenever my kids are assholes, I take their phones away and they instantly cut it out.”
No matter the opinion regarding Kelly’s disciplinary style, it is clear that with him it is a whole new White House. Says one Washington source, “For the first time since the election, Trump has not spit chewed food onto the floor and screamed ‘Yucky!’ He used to do that everyday. It’s amazing growth to witness.”