Trevor Noah tells the terrifying tale of the “vampire bill” known as Trumpcare

Republican senators are still working behind closed doors to draft a bill to replace Obamacare, and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell even said he may keep it secret until it goes to a vote.

Some Democratic senators are calling it a “vampire bill” because Republicans have to be kept in the dark in order for it to survive, so on Tuesday’s Daily Show, Trevor Noah gave Democrats some advice on how to scare the American people away from support for the bill.

His first bit of advice was for Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-OR), who has been most vocal about calling the Trumpcare legislation a “vampire bill.” Noah informed him that won’t work, because vampires are “sparkly and cool” now and people “don’t want to run from them; they want to f—k them.”

Noah told Democrats all they needed was a flashlight and some alternative facts because “You’ve got a horror story on your hands.” One of the truest horrors in “the tale of Trumpcare” is that the bill will “make it mandatory for everyone to wear a catheter.”

“And scariest of all, under Trumpcare, every American would have to share one pharmacist—Bill Cosby!”

“This might just be a tall tale, but until Republicans release it, we’ll never know…”

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