Samantha Bee insults every presidential candidate in her return to ‘Full Frontal’

Samantha Bee returned to Full Frontal with fresh takes on the presidential election. She began with breaking news: “Hillary Clinton has passed away. She says she’s not dead but as we know she is a liar,” Bee joked. “Who would have thought a woman with a weak and feeble body could ever lead a great nation?” she added, showing a picture of Queen Elizabeth I.

Getting to the campaign trail, Bee pulled up the latest polls that put Trump only two point behind Clinton, holding 40 percent to her 42, which Bee calls “the margin of terror.” She then pointed out that those numbers don’t add up to 100 because of Gary Johnson and Jill Stein, or “Dr. What’s Her Name,” as she calls the Green Party candidate. Bee didn’t mince words about the two candidates, calling Stein out for vandalizing property in North Dakota and making fun of hiking enthusiast Johnson for not knowing what Aleppo was. “It’s a city in Syria. You wouldn’t like it. It doesn’t have many walls left to climb.”

Bee then moved on to Donald Trump, who has begun toning down his voice at rallies, making his speeches sound like “world’s creepiest bedtime story,” or as Bee put it, “That’s the voice you hear when you’re being chloroformed.”

Clinton got in some trouble last week saying you could put half of all Trump supporters in a “basket of deplorables.” An upset Bee couldn’t believe it. “No! Bad! I swear to god, Hillary Clinton is the only woman I know who can trip over her own dick!” She then noted the number of deplorables on Trump’s side is surely less than half, she cued up clips of pundits quoting polls that proved otherwise.

“We’re going to need a bigger basket,” concluded Bee.

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