Stephen Colbert investigated Pam Bondi and her conveniently timed donation from Donald Trump on Thursday’s Late Show. Florida’s Attorney General, “and step mom who can’t understand why you don’t warm up to her,” Pam Bondi threatened to investigate Trump University, but a donation from Trump to the tune of $25,000 stopped the investigation in its tracks.
“One thing’s for sure,” said Colbert, “Pam Bondi is the only person in the world who made money from Trump University.”
In order to dig further into this possible corruption, Stephen Googled Bondi to discover that she adopted a dog after Hurricane Katrina, but when the real owners came to claim their missing dog, she fought them for 16 months to keep the dog, who she had named Noah.
“Refusing to give back a dog to flood victims, but naming the dog after the most famous flood victim of all time is just cold,” Colbert said. “Hi! I’m Pam, this is my daughter Kidnapped.”
Getting back to the Trump case, Colbert revealed, “He said, ‘Yeah I cut the check, but it’s only because I like Bondi so much. I’m not the kind of guy who expects favors in exchange for political donations.’ Which makes me wonder, then who is this guy?” Cue the clips of Trump saying when he donates to people they “kiss my ass.”
“That’s a disturbing admission,” said Colbert. “Partly because of its overt, abrasive corruption, but mostly because it makes us imagine the texture of Donald Trump’s ass. My best guess is either cold pizza or bumpy, decorative gourd.”