Stephen Colbert reports on “What Donald Trump Did On My Summer Vacation”

Stephen Colbert’s Late Show was on hiatus for two weeks during the Olympics, “but Donald Trump had original episodes the entire time,” Colbert said of his break. In order to recap what happened in Trump news, Colbert debuted a new segment called “What Donald Trump Did On My Summer Vacation.”

“He’s like arsenic,” Colbert said. “You have to take little sips every day so he doesn’t kill you.” But that didn’t stop Colbert from binging on the campaign news.

Trump told black voters to vote for him because they are poor, asking, “What the hell do you have to lose?” Colbert joked about this strategy, “It’s all summed up in Trump’s new slogan: ‘You’re already on fire, so you may as well shoot yourself in the head.'”

Stephen Colbert parodies Ryan Lochte’s interview with Matt Lauer

Colbert then pointed out that Donald Trump is actually in fourth place among black voters, despite the fact that there are only two people left in the race. “That’s like coming in third in solitaire,” he said.

Stephen then moved on to the next bit of Trump news. The real estate mogul’s new campaign CEO is former Breitbart News chairman, Stephen Bannon. “Now, if you haven’t heard of Breitbart News, that means you do not have a racist uncle on Facebook,” Colbert explained. Bannon has convinced Trump he needs to take the gloves off going forward. “That’s right, Bannon thinks the reason Trump is behind in the polls is that he’s been too civil,” Colbert said. “And now the gloves are off — the tiny, tiny gloves.”

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