On Monday’s Daily Show, Trevor Noah looked at the primary race in New York as candidates converged on the Big Apple to pander to the locals. Bernie Sanders took the opportunity to see the perpetually sold out Hamilton, which Trevor thinks may be the only reason Bernie ran for president. Hillary tried to use the subway but got denied by a turnstile that’s probably feeling the Bern. And John Kasich ate a lot of food, campaigning “like a man who knows his campaign is almost over and he’s not gonna get free food much longer.”
All this coverage made Trevor uneasy, though, over the fact that “the news spends so much time focusing on what candidates eat, and the jokes they tell, and if they seem fun to hang out with.” He continues, “I think this is the problem America finds itself in. Voters need a brilliant policy mind that can address serious problems. But, at the same time, Americans just kind of want a leader who’s a fun best friend.” What is the solution? “This November, Americans must elect both a president and a mascot.”
Americans need one person to focus on leading the nation, and another to kiss babies and dance on Ellen. The UK solved that problem long ago when the queen became a figurehead. Queen Elizabeth’s only job is to be the most British person alive. “Her people love it. And that frees up their prime minister to be a perfectly mundane politician who runs the country and hides his money in Panama.”
“I know what you’re thinking: ‘Trevor, where would we find a mascot like that? Some brightly-colored cartoon character who pumps up the crowd with a giant head and weird-sized hands as he comes on to the stage to Jock Jams?'” Be careful what you wish for.