Stephen Colbert was so excited to talk about the New Hampshire primary, he almost didn’t finish his monologue on Wednesday’s Late Show. Luckily, Bernie Sanders appeared to save him and finish out the monologue for him (See Below). But once Colbert got to the desk, he got right to it. “Every four years Iowa goes, ‘How about this?’ and new Hampshire goes, ‘No stupid, this.'” Bernie and Trump crushed their competition, and despite the fact that no one saw this coming six months ago, the media has been calling it inevitable. “That’s easy to say now. That’s like driving on the highway, skidding off the road, and right before you slam into a tree, saying, ‘Yup, that’s the tree I was looking for—dutch elm.'” Stephen imagines what a Trump and Bernie debate would look like, but he mixes up his impressions.
He moves on to Hillary, who has been struggling with young voters. In her concession speech, she said they may not support her, but she supports them. Stephen calls this her “disappointed mom” tactic and speaks directly to the camera as Hillary talking to her voters, then as her voters apologizing to a disappointed Hillary.
Stephen then went on to talk about the losers on the GOP side, but he comes back to Bernie after Chris Hayes calls him Bernie Sandwiches. Stephen has a lot of pun with this.