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On Tuesday’s Daily Show, Trevor Noah discussed pandering and torture in the run-up to the New Hampshire primary. The candidates had taken over the state, trying to get out and meet every resident in every county. But they spent most of their time “pandering to New Hampshire’s number one cultural institution:” Dunkin’ Donuts. That’s right, “if you want to win New Hampshire, you gotta make it rain in the Dunkin’.” Trevor shows clips of Clinton, Rubio, and Cruz mentioning Dunkin’ Donuts, and Jeb Bush even worked the drive-thru at one, “getting ready for the job he’s gonna have after this.” Hillary spent an astounding $1886 at the establishment during her time in the state, while Trump only spent $10. Of course, Trump didn’t buy donuts, “because he stole them from Jeb.”
Trevor moves on to the last debate before the primary, in which Ted Cruz and Donald Trump fought over who would torture terrorists more. Cruz said he wouldn’t use water boarding in any widespread use, but if it was need then he would use it. “So, you’d bring it back,” Trevor clarifies. “I love how Ted Cruz is talking about torture as if it’s the McRib. ‘I’m not bringing it back in any sort of widespread use, but if America needs it, then, yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum.'” Trevor says that is insane, because water boarding is a horrible tactic. But Cruz only seemed crazy for about ten seconds, before Trump said he would bring back “a hell of a lot worse than waterboarding.” Which just proves “Donald trump is like a really evil little kid. ‘Oh yeah? well, I’ll bring back double water boarding!'” Just a reminder, this is the leader of the Republican race, and the winner of the New Hampshire primary.