Monologic: Republican debate, debating Republicans, Republicans debating, and Star Wars

monologue debate Republican

Late Night with Seth Meyers

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Seth reports, “Last night’s Republican debate focused on the themes of terrorism and foreign policy. And it’s a good thing too, because during the debate I spotted nine people who had definitely been radicalized by ISIS.” Donald Trump, who had previously called Ted Cruz a maniac, revealed during the debate that he had found him to have a wonderful temperament, “and if Donald Trump thinks you have a wonderful temperament, you’re probably a maniac.”

Watch Seth’s full wrap-up of the debate here.

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert discussed the new Star Wars, but since he won’t be able to see until midnight and the film premiered on Monday, Stephen wants to make sure no one spoils the film for him. So, he has created #spoilerspoilers in order to flood Twitter with fake spoilers, like “There’s a scene where Chewbacca gets into some dark chocolate and has to spend the night at the vet.”

 

The Late Late Show with James Corden

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James Corden discussed recent trends in marriage and proposals. A new startup called Swan Luv will give you up to $10,000 to pay for your wedding, but if you get divorced, you have to pay it back with interest. “What better way to start your life together than with the threat of financial ruin hanging over your head?” The company will provide counseling, but since they are profiting off divorce, Corden says, “Why do I feel like every counseling session will be like ‘Mmm, I don’t know, I think she’s cheating on you’?” In other wedding news, a man in Houston shut down traffic to propose to his girlfriend, and keeping up with the theme of inconvenience, “their wedding will take place on the day before Thanksgiving in the security check point line at the airport.”

 

 

CONAN

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Conan reports that the Republican debate took place in Las Vegas Tuesday night. “CNN said the Republicans chose that location because nothing says fiscal responsibility and wise choices like Las Vegas.” In other political news, “A new poll came out and it found that of all the Republican candidates, people think Donald Trump would make the best Santa Claus…In response, Chris Christie said, oh, come on!” Of all the polls, he thought surely he’d win that one.

 

The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon

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Jimmy talked about the Republican debate, which he says got a little heated when Jeb Bush and Donald Trump started to go at it. It must have been what Trump was waiting for, because after that Donald was like, “Are you as turned on as I am?” Jeb held a debate watch party at his campaign headquarters and a photo from the event showed that it was almost empty. “The sad thing is by the end of the night most of the chairs left.” Watch the video to see Jimmy remix some talking points from Carson and Christie.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

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Kimmel returned with a new edition of celebrity Mean Tweets.

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