Stephen Colbert dictates new rules for society from beneath the furry hat

furry hat stephen colbert late show
Still from CBS

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On Tuesday’s Late Show, Stephen Colbert brought back the power of the furry hat to declare new rules for society. He begins by stating, “Now that this hat is upon my head I am endowed with unquestionable power, due to my hat’s two main attributes: its bigness and its furriness.” Endowed with that power, he begins by asserting that “Henceforth, if Starbucks insists on continuing to use made up names for small, medium, and large, we get to pay them with made up money.” He goes on to declare, “There are too many cable dramas. From now on, everyone watches one show about a drug-dealing zombie hacker housewife who is naked and afraid.” And also, “From this moment on, episodes of Scooby Doo will be rewritten to reflect the fact that it is not a crime to dress up like a ghost on your own property.” Watch the video for more rules from the furry hat!

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