Monologic: climate change, Star Wars, Donald Trump, and sexy Santa

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Late Night with Seth Meyers

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Seth Meyers reports that 195 countries at the U.N. Climate Change Conference this weekend agreed to make an effort to halt climate change, “and then they all drove to the airport in 195 cars.” In political news, “according to a new national poll, Donald Trump has support from 41 percent of Republican voters. This story was first reported when it was yelled by Donald Trump.” And Gov. Cuomo says Trump is fanning the flames of hate, “which is what Donald Trump calls blow drying his hair.”

The Late Late Show with James Corden

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James Corden reacts to the new trend of making shopping mall Santa look hipster and handsome on Monday’s Late Late Show. A Portland shopping center had a Santa who had on a vintage sweater and sported a man bun. Corden has a problem with this, because if a Santa is not dressed as Santa, he’s just taking his kids to sit on an old guy’s lap. “Happy winter, kids. Want to sit on a guy?” He also says the hipster Santa “looks like he’d deliver presents on December 27, and just say ‘Aw sorry. I totally spaced.'” A Toronto mall released pictures of a skinny, hunky Santa, which Corden also doesn’t like, because “sitting on Santa’s lap was already sexually confusing.” Watch the video to see Corden defend the rights of big guys everywhere to keep their yearly gigs.

CONAN

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Conan heard that in Los Angeles, a couple is planning to get married while waiting in line for the new Star Wars movie. But unfortunately, “the couple’s family is unable to attend because they’re too busy being embarrassed.” In political news, Donald Trump’s doctor wrote a letter saying that if elected, Mr. Trump will be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” But Conan says, “when asked about Trump’s mental health, the doctor got very quiet.”

The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon

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Jimmy Fallon talks about the upcoming Republican debate, “and if you’ve been keeping score so far, the winner of most of the Republican debates has been Hillary Clinton.” The debate takes place in Las Vegas, and Fallon knows what the candidates are up to in sin city, including Jeb Bush, who is going to “ask David Copperfield to make him disappear,” and Ben Carson, who is going to be “thrown out of a magic show for hypnotizing the magician.”

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