Monologic: Trump, Bernie, Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and coke-snorting Santa

bernie trump fashion show fallon vorden meyers seth conan jimmy

Late Night with Seth Meyers

ARVE Error: id and provider shortcodes attributes are mandatory for old shortcodes. It is recommended to switch to new shortcodes that need only url

Seth Meyers ridiculed Donald Trump for saying the US should block all Muslims from entering the country. “He said that, in fact, the only reason we should allow anyone to come here from any country is to marry him.” President Obama met Hillary Clinton for a secret meeting at the White House, and at the end of the meeting, Hillary said, “Okay, thanks for coming over.” The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show aired last night. “Wow, normally you’d have to watch the Food Network to see that many oily ribs.”

For more from Seth on Trump watch here.

CONAN

ARVE Error: id and provider shortcodes attributes are mandatory for old shortcodes. It is recommended to switch to new shortcodes that need only url

Conan joked about Donald Trump, as usual. Trump said he will not put Muslims in internment camps. They will stay in the Trump Hotel and Internment Resort. Also, Fox analyst Ralph Peters was suspended for calling President Obama a “total pussy” on live television, “which is shocking because the name of the Fox News show is President Obama is a Total Pussy & Friends.”

The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon

ARVE Error: id and provider shortcodes attributes are mandatory for old shortcodes. It is recommended to switch to new shortcodes that need only url

Jimmy reports Bernie sanders won the readers’ poll for Time’s Person of the Year, but he was upset, saying, “Not sexiest men alive? This is an outrage!” Bernie recently proposed a bill to cut back on fossil fuels, because “they’re made from his high school friends.” And Dick Cheney said Donald Trump went to far by planning to ban Muslims from entering the US. “You know it’s bad when Dick Cheney steps in and says, ‘Come on, have a heart.”

The Late Late Show with James Corden

ARVE Error: id and provider shortcodes attributes are mandatory for old shortcodes. It is recommended to switch to new shortcodes that need only url

The holidays have everyone on edge, but one man in Seattle has taken the wrong path to easing his stress. Corden shows a clip of a traffic stop in which the driver snorts coke while the officer pulls him over. Corden has a picture of the man. Turns out it’s Santa, and Corden can see why he would need it. “Have you tried climbing up a chimney? It’s exhausting.” Corden also shows this year’s holiday card from Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, whose family all hold guns in the photo. Corden doesn’t have anything bad to say about this family, though, for obvious reasons.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

ARVE Error: id and provider shortcodes attributes are mandatory for old shortcodes. It is recommended to switch to new shortcodes that need only url

Jimmy shows what people will go through just to be on TV by putting pedestrians through dozens of strict and invasive questions they think are on the standard release form.

Leave a Reply