Stephen Colbert reveals flaws in the GOP opposition to Syrian refugees

late show stephen colbert
Still from CBS

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On Thursday’s Late Show, Stephen Colbert addressed the Syrian refugee debate. He begins by declaring that he does no want to talk about ISIS. “Here’s the deal. If you want to live in the seventh century, you don’t get to be on TV.” But he has to address the situation, because “the question of whether to let Syrian refugees into this country has become the new political issue, completely overshadowing the old political issue—whether to let Mexicans into this country.” It is all anyone in Washington, or on the campaign trail has been talking about. And just this afternoon, Congress passed a bill that would require stricter vetting for incoming refugees. Stephen says, it is called the “American Security Against Foreign Enemies Act, or ASFEA, because under the law, no one with a name like that will be allowed in the country.”

Donald Trump has said the refugees would be miserable in Minnesota. “It’s a tough call for the refugees…Do I want to stay in a war zone where my family faces certain death, or do I want to go somewhere where I have to put on a jacket before I go to the mall?” Stephen assumes they’ll take their chances with ISIS. Obama publicly shamed Republicans by saying they are scared of widows and orphans. Stephen says that’s not entirely fair, because they are obviously afraid of the adult men that might come in. “But since you brought it up Mr. President,” he continues. “Why shouldn’t we be scared of three year olds? You think you can’t negotiate with terrorists, try negotiating with a three year old.” The most damning moment of the segment came when Stephen discussed the fact that Ted Cruz and Jeb Bush only want to let Christian refugees in. When asked how you can tell they are Christians, Jeb said you can just tell. Stephen has a better way. “If you want to know if somebody is Christian, just ask them to complete this sentence: Jesus said, ‘I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you…’ And if they don’t say ‘welcomed me in,’ they are either a terrorist, or they are running for president.”

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