Stephen Colbert shares some ‘half-informed thoughts’ about the Republican debate

late show stephen colbert
Still from CBS

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On Wednesday’s Late Show, Stephen Colbert mocked the Republican presidential debate in Milwaukee. “Like the candidates last night, I have a random collection of half-informed thoughts I want to share with you,” says Stephen. All candidates decried wasteful government during the debate, but Ted Cruz got very specific, naming five agencies he would get rid of. But he named the Department of Commerce twice. “I’m with Senator Cruz here,” Stephen asserts. “I mean, two Departments of Commerce? That is wasteful! We don’t need both of those.”

Donald Trump talked about one of his heroes who isn’t himself. Trump cited a program by President Eisenhower that moved over a million illegal immigrants back across the Mexican border. “It must have worked,” says Stephen, “because Mexicans were never seen her again.” That program was actually called Operation Wetback, so “you might want to update that button to ‘I like Ike with significant reservations.'” Rubio made a less severe mistake during the debate by saying welders make more money than philosophers. That is not true, which Stephen says proves Descartes’ famous point, “I think, therefore, I make it rain up in this bee-atch.”

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