Late Night Talks is a collection of satirical moments from the previous night’s talk shows.
The Late Late Show with James Corden
James Corden began his show with a somber tribute to the victims in Oregon, and informed his audience that they would still air the show as normal to try to bring a bit of “levity and light” to the day. He then had one of his best monologues of late with a number of pointed satirical bites. He began by reminding the crowd the 2016 presidential election is a short 13 months away, the Republican race has been “whittled down to a paltry 15 candidates,” and Jeb Bush is the front runner, who’s currently losing. He went on with the absurdity of this election by pointing out Bush would be the third Bush to take the office. “Three presidents from the same family! Even I think that’s messed up, and I come from a country that still has a queen.” Bush is losing to Ben Carson, who “talks like he forgot he had a press conference, and just took a load of Benadryl.” Carson has said prison turns people gay, and Obamacare is the worst thing to happen since slavery. “And that was just to his waitress at breakfast,” remarked Corden. And yet he is in second place, which, Corden pointed out, is what happens when you give Donald Trump so much attention. Everyone else seems normal by comparison. “Ben Carson is over here saying ‘You’re Hitler’ and ‘Obamacare is slavery’ and we’re over here like, ‘Finally, an adult in the room!'”
CBS doesn’t make Corden’s monologues available. So please see below for the full episode.
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Late Night with Seth Meyers
Seth discussed the “Demo-panic party” and its frontrunner, Hillary Clinton, who only had a 39 percent positive rating on a recent poll. Seth explained this is because of her emails. Not because they were hidden, but because of the way she emails. In one released message, she “goes full on parent on Facebook mode” asking an aide what FUBAR means. The other reason her numbers are down is because of the continuous Republican investigation into Hillary’s role in Benghazi, which is the longest investigation in congressional history since Watergate, “and the 2000 investigation that failed to answer the question, Who let the dogs out?” Despite the long investigation, Republicans haven’t found anything on Hillary, but that may not be the purpose of the committee. Rep. Kevin McCarthy recently received flack for saying, “Everybody thought Hillary was unbeatable, but we put together a special Benghazi committee…and look at her numbers,” implying that the purpose of the investigation was to affect the public opinion of Hillary. Seth called that kind of political slideshow FUBAR.
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The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Jimmy talked about Donald Trump’s wife Melania, who was recently interviewed saying their son wanted to be a doctor, businessman, and pilot. Fallon said she told him that can’t happen, and he responded, “Dad’s in first place for president, anything could happen!” Jimmy also said congrats to the Toronto Blue Jays for making the playoffs for the first time in 22 years. Said Jimmy, “Nothing says America’s past time like a bunch of guys from the Dominican Republic playing for a team in Canada.” See more jokes in the video below.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Colbert talked campaign funding. A recent report showed Bernie Sanders’ campaign has taken in a whopping $26 million. “I had no idea you could make that kind of cash on Etsy,” said Stephen. The candidates this year have had to get creative, it would seem, as in the case of “Florida senator and Sears portrait gallery sample dad Marco Rubio.” His website features merchandise like a Marco polo shirt, and a water bottle that says “Water great nation.” Also, for $250 you can adopt a Rubio staffer for a day. Stephen couldn’t let Rubio’s orphan staff go unpurchased, so he looked into the camera, and with a little parody, turned his show into a Save the Children ad, complete with unfortunate child.
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Jimmy Kimmel Live
Kimmel used his unique form of satire by which the most important news of the day is reduced to triviality by a change in perspective. Here he has a group of kids talk about the presidential candidates. Of course, it’s delightfully silly.
Find more clips here.
Conan roasted a list of celebrities by showing graphs of their income and what percent comes from their work and what percent comes from, well, other things.
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