Late Night Talks: Obama and Putin, Duck Lips, and Papal Backwash

tonight show jimmy fallon
Still from NBC

Late Night Talks is a collection of satirical moments from the previous night’s talk shows.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy, who usually goes for more light than edgy humor, brought his upbeat tone to a nice stream of satirically minded jokes last night. He compared Obama and Putin’s chemistry at the UN General Assembly to awkward dates he had in college. He talked about how Bill Clinton is reportedly looking forward to playing a bigger role in Hillary’s campaign…or was it role playing? Facebook went down and people had to find new ways to show their babies to the world. Pope Francis released a rock song, and Fallon got an advanced list of the song title from the upcoming album. And Whole Foods laid off 1,500 employees, but don’t worry, They are “Free range employees” now. See more in the video.

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CONAN

Conan talked about the world leaders meeting in New York, as well. Apparently, Obama and Putin met awkwardly, because Putin looked nothing like his Tinder photo. Trump told the New York Times he’s only getting four hours asleep at night, probably, Conan assumes, “worrying about a Trump presidency.” Marco Rubio said he’s worried about a president who doesn’t know about technology, as his pager went off. 1 out of 5 Millennials are okay with taking a selfie at a funeral, but they’re having a little trouble with the corpses. Justin Bieber wants to live like Jesus. In response, Jesus said, “Dude, you’re the reason I’m not coming back!”

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Jimmy Kimmel Live

Kimmel once again satirized public awareness and self-assurance, this time by passing Donald Trump’s tax plan off as Hillary Clinton’s to her supporters.

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Late Night with Seth Meyers

Seth hit Trump a few times for his appearance, as usual. Lindsay graham, when asked if he would drop out because of his low poll numbers, said “Hell no,” “Which also, incidentally, is his poll number,” Seth pointed out. A new study says blotting pizza with napkin can reduce 40 calories per slice, “So, if you’re looking for a great way to lose weight, just eat that napkin.” And the Coast Guard has seized 130 tons of cocaine this year. To see how much cocaine that is, watch the video below!

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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Stephen gave a good ribbing to Rep. Bob Brady, who stole Pope Francis’ drinking glass after his speech to Congress. Stephen assured Brady the glass won’t give him superpowers, and reminded him that he broke the seventh and tenth commandments, literally behind the pope’s back. Brady was quoted as saying he shared what Stephen calls the “Papal backwash” around his office, and planned to sprinkle it on his grandkids. Apparently, Brady has done this before, when he swiped Obama’s glass after his 2009 inauguration. So, Stephen tried to help him out by offering Brady a few other items he might want to collect.

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The Late Late Show with James Corden

Nothing satirical here. Just pure fun.

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